Who am I ? A wife, a daughter,a daughter in law,a sister or a woman who wants to fly high?
I have always taken my own decisions..fortunately or unfortunately my parents have never interfered in my decision making.Be it my decision to study biotechnology,be it to pursue my dream in my own field rather than jumping into an IT job,be it changing frequent jobs,be it changing location just to be with my loved one or be it resigning from job,,they have always relied on me and supported me...though this gives an immense sense of satisfaction but sometimes I just wish they had some more control over my decisions...I don't repent any of my decisions...because they are my own...but today I think was i right everytime? Is this what i have wanted all my life?
I have happily sacrificed so many opportunities for being near to people who matter the most to me...But somehow I feel I have not done justice to myself....the "me" who has so many dreams has somewhere died down...I was meant to be different..I was meant to follow my dreams, I was meant to be happy for myself..
Though outwardly I am satisfied from my life so far but still deep down inside i feel I could have done so many things..i could have followed my ambitions...
I am afraid that I,me ,myself is getting lost in the shadow of so many other layers of wife,daughter,daughter in law etc etc...
But still I feel I can pursue my dreams,I can follow my heart,I can fly high. May be not now,may be not today,may be some day where I need not think of any body or any thing before me,when only I will be important to me ahead of anything else....
I wish to see that day soon in my life :)
I have always taken my own decisions..fortunately or unfortunately my parents have never interfered in my decision making.Be it my decision to study biotechnology,be it to pursue my dream in my own field rather than jumping into an IT job,be it changing frequent jobs,be it changing location just to be with my loved one or be it resigning from job,,they have always relied on me and supported me...though this gives an immense sense of satisfaction but sometimes I just wish they had some more control over my decisions...I don't repent any of my decisions...because they are my own...but today I think was i right everytime? Is this what i have wanted all my life?
I have happily sacrificed so many opportunities for being near to people who matter the most to me...But somehow I feel I have not done justice to myself....the "me" who has so many dreams has somewhere died down...I was meant to be different..I was meant to follow my dreams, I was meant to be happy for myself..
Though outwardly I am satisfied from my life so far but still deep down inside i feel I could have done so many things..i could have followed my ambitions...
I am afraid that I,me ,myself is getting lost in the shadow of so many other layers of wife,daughter,daughter in law etc etc...
But still I feel I can pursue my dreams,I can follow my heart,I can fly high. May be not now,may be not today,may be some day where I need not think of any body or any thing before me,when only I will be important to me ahead of anything else....
I wish to see that day soon in my life :)
It's beautiful.. you have a poetic touch in your writing.. Good Job! I sometimes write too.. It's on my FB Notes..
ReplyDeleteSanchit..
Thanks Sanchit:) will sure hae a look into ur posts
ReplyDeleteIt's beautiful...but after reading it a kind of mixed feeling arouses...on one hand there is a happy side for u have always been able to do what u had decided to do without any interference from anyone and also managed to stay close those who really mattered but on the other hand there is a silent sadness for not being able to follow your ambitions...I know I am too young to speak among u people...I know that i do not have that much maturity n have not seen the next phase of life outside academics but I believe that one should not give up ones dreams(ambitions) at any cost unless the price of following it is too heavy...after all its just one life that we have got.
ReplyDeleteHi Sabya,
ReplyDeleteThanks for ur comments..what u said is absolutely true..but the problem is at the moment of taking decisions u feel what u r doing is right..only later u realize that it could have been different!
But all said and done I am happy and whatever I have written is somewhere deep down inside me u can say my secret wishes which I hope will come true someday
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ReplyDeleteSure di they will come true n that too i believe in near future.
ReplyDeleteWish you all the luck :)
And you have very beautiful written down your thoughts here. Keep writing for there is someone(me) eagerly waiting to read your blogs :)
loved ur blog.... i think at a point of life most of us go through this feeling, even i had. may be deep inside our unconscious mind, we have some dreams, which may not be in harmony with our outer persona. that feeling piles up... somewhere it reminds us of our inability to follow our heart. still the life goes on....and i, me, myself are burried somewhere in the struggle to survive... so steal a few moments of life to celebrate urself :)
ReplyDeleteThank u so much Sabyasachi :) I promise to write more
ReplyDeleteWow Didibhai I am so happy u also have the same thought....good time we both came into blogging world :) loved ur comments
ReplyDelete