Far, very far from my loved ones as I spend my birthday all my myself myriad thoughts occupy my mind. When my mom and dad wish me over phone, I almost choke and could barely hid my tears. You ask,but why? there's nothing to be sad...yeah true but after so many years of being away from them, I suddenly feel lost and an urge to be with them engulfs me instantly.
When was the last time I spent my birthday with them? May be in school,or may be in college I don't even remember.All this while being away trying to establish ourselves,trying to find our foothold in this world.And somehow we did not even realize it has been almost 7 long years that we have been out of the country we call our motherland.With tight weekday schedule and party laden weekends,we sometimes think this is what life is all about. But it is in these moments of solitude that we realize that we are so alone.You live in the most developed (really?)country where you have every amenities at your fingertips but still you are alone. You have more parties than you can attend yet you are alone.Life is robotic and mechanistic. You can only have fun once the clock starts ticking past 5 on Friday evening and you need to stop by Sunday evening. Sometimes it makes me wonder is this what we wanted? probably this is the price we need to pay to be successful. But who describes success? Is there a definition? People ask all the time why don't you come back to India? I sincerely wish we had simple answers to that question.The more I am aging, the more I am trying to find the real meaning of life,real meaning of happiness,real meaning of feeling content. Sometimes everything surrounding us seem vague and hollow and I feel myself to be a misfit.But then I rethink everyone else too is struggling like I am.Everyone else is sacrificing so many things in life to make a decent livelihood, to provide a comfortable living for the family.
We are all alone in our journey,each one of us battling our own struggles.I remember my hostel days when we did not have much money but we used to have fun,not just weekends but everyday. We did not care if we slept less or we were tired.Life has changed so much.Days change to months and months to years and we long for a chance to visit home. You need to think about one thousand things even before you plan to go home. Visa,time off from work,stamping issues.Why has life become so complicated? Why do we have less and less control over our own lives? Why does our career,our happiness everything depend on policies of corporates and government? Why can't we chose to be home when our near ones need us? Why is every decision of my life not my own?
Is this the price we pay to become fortuitous? And trying to be successful in life we have all become alone.Alone to face all difficulties,alone to fight our everyday battles.
We are all alone in our journey,each one of us battling our own struggles.I remember my hostel days when we did not have much money but we used to have fun,not just weekends but everyday. We did not care if we slept less or we were tired.Life has changed so much.Days change to months and months to years and we long for a chance to visit home. You need to think about one thousand things even before you plan to go home. Visa,time off from work,stamping issues.Why has life become so complicated? Why do we have less and less control over our own lives? Why does our career,our happiness everything depend on policies of corporates and government? Why can't we chose to be home when our near ones need us? Why is every decision of my life not my own?
Is this the price we pay to become fortuitous? And trying to be successful in life we have all become alone.Alone to face all difficulties,alone to fight our everyday battles.
So if your birthday falls on a weekday, you have nothing to do but whine and pen down such boring monograph sitting alone at home.Because celebrations have to wait till it's Friday evening!!
